A young man and his old father were traveling to the nearby town with their donkey. On their way, they met some laborers. One of the laborers remarked “What fools these two are. In spite of having a donkey, they are both walking”. Hearing them, the old man asked his son to ride on the donkey.
In another 10 minutes, they passed a tea shop. The owner of the shop blurted out “Such an uncaring son - look at him making his father walk while he himself is comfortably sitting on the donkey." The son upon hearing this comment, got down from the donkey and asked his father to ride on it.
As they carried on their journey, they met a couple of men on the road. One of them remarked to the other “Look at the selfish old man riding on the donkey, while making the poor boy walk”. The father became very uncomfortable with the comment, and asked his son to also sit on the donkey.
Further along, they met a group of women washing clothes. One of the women said “How cruel these men are. Look at the poor donkey bearing the weight of two men. It would be better if these two people carried the donkey for a change”. Eager to please, the men found a bamboo stick, tied the donkey’s legs on it and carried the donkey on their shoulders.
As they passed over a bridge, they met a few children playing. Upon seeing the sight of the men carrying the donkey, the children bursted in laughter, and said “Haha - Look at these fools! Carrying the donkey on their shoulders!”. At this time the donkey got restless being carried upside down. The poor donkey jumped and fell down the bridge and died!
The moral of the story is that other people will always have an opinion about what you should do and not do. It is impossible to satisfy everyone. In trying to constantly yield to other people’s opinions, we give up our own best interests and become losers.
Here are some ways we seek approval, that Dr Wayne Dyer mentions in his book “Your erroneous zones”:
• Changing a position, or altering what you believe because someone shows signs of disapproval.
• Sugar coating a statement to avoid the reaction of displeasure.
• Feeling depressed or anxious when someone disagrees with you.
• Feeling insulted or put-down when someone states a contrary sentiment to your own.
• Being excessively agreeable and head nodding, even when you don’t agree at all with what is being said.
• Performing chores for someone and feeling resentful about not being able to say no.
• Being intimated by a sharp salesperson and buying something you don’t want.
• Saying things you don’t mean just to avoid being disliked.
• Trying to impress others with your knowledge of something that you know nothing about by “faking it”
• Begging for compliments by setting yourself up for approval, and then feeling bad when they don’t come.
Many wise men have spoken on about this need in us to seek approval from others, in their own way. (E.g.)
Self-actualized people are independent of the good opinion of others.-Abraham Maslow
Do not be a football of other people’s opinions.-Sri Sri Ravishankar
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.-Bill Cosby
-Inspirations by Sudhir Krishnan
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